AMBITIOUS WOMAN

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It is the wind that blows me in all directions,
It is the noise that honks for my attention,
It is the warmth that numbs my senses ,
It is the chill that evokes my emotions.

I am complicated,
I am innate,
I am a person, very intricate.

I have a chain of thoughts that tend to disappear,
I dream , I aspire , I dare , I acquire.

I know the line that crosses my garden,
I know the rainbow that shines over my window,
I know the chirps that tweet for the longest hours,
I know the sparkles that fill the glares.

It is the moment I have been waiting for,
It is the feeling I have been craving for,
It is the freedom I have been hoping for,
It is the strength I have been saving for.

Could I be any more  better?
Could I be any more confident?
Could I be any more clever?
Could I be any more radiant?

Yes, Yes, Yes

I need many more like me,
I need many more for me,
I need to create many more like me,
I need to be for many more, ME.

 

LOVE.SENSE.DRAMA

So it did start by smelling right. It indeed was, too grand an entrance to be remembered. The hotel looked like a building whose backyard and courtyard were both eaten up by the nasty, beastly structures recognized as super five stars. When I walked through an okay lobby and past some very okay staff, I almost felt like this was more like a self- service place. So, I did not bother checking where the “Mash Up” was and realised that discovery did not take too long.

Down a winding staircase and a few steps later, I walked into the buzz that was quite sober. I was hungry and as my eyes started a “soul” search, I quickly found someone who became my breakfast partner. If not for that half fried, abandoned , stolen omelette, me and Pramod would have literally devoured the sessions – they were so good.

Okay, before my mean critical side takes over, I have to lay down some good points too. And I would like to, as obvious , do it my way. It was mashed up actually and I must say that’s the success of curating. The audience experiencing the event should never get into ” what I came for?” And ” what I got? ” analysis. They should get out with at least “hmm interesting”.

I will like to breakdown my understanding into 4 zones. The Classroom, The Party, The Dozers, The Thinkers. It is not in chronological order and if you don’t enjoy it, “just love it”, it will make your pain tolerable.

The Classroom

Quite a few interactions qualify for this type and it started with introductions. The new teams introduced themselves. The new fathers, the new mothers, the engaged yet to be married and the married who were yet to be harassed – sorry I mean ” mums yet to be mums”.

Priyanka got up and shared with us the wonderful news that she is very happy and it evoked genuine emotions on how awesome it feels till – ” it all starts.” Sarita too offline mentioned that she was missing her 14 months old baby boy and I had a nagging urge to silently agree to her silent satisfaction – ” phew I got a break.”

So babies, marriages and team mergers all boils down to love. Love is a chemical reaction and most of us know it is explosive. It was an ” idle” start( I misspelt it and realised only after I published this blog). Love Guru meets the lowest scum of banking – marketers.

It was surely Love at first sight for Karthi. The latter was talking about this speaker’s neon pink/red shoes. Love Guru for the day was aka Amit Sarda CEO for the company SoulFlower that makes handmade spa products. Yes, they should know about love but love that could sell me a little more soap bars – why not listen too?

We hate this word. It is oft abused and used most in genuinely. However, two things that he conveyed – ” Love your product ” and “Believe in it” made me think that how often I know what products that my opposite desk markets or how often I have bothered to master marketing the entire suite that my bank sells. Very often not.

He also gushed about the word ” trust”. And raised an important question : If my brand is not being reviewed , then maybe it is not even being considered. Reviews are powerful specially when you come to know someone is reading them. According to Love Guru, discovery of a product rightfully starts by analysing data. Data is like mining gold and he dropped quite a few examples of category innovations like Puja Oil and Mustache and Beard Oil.

It evoked a few feelings in people who sported one and secretly wished Amit could have sampled some bottles for the good of all. Well, whether they eventually subscribed to his products , we will never come to know after all.

Passion was evident and so much so that when Manish asked the question on sales ( he actually couldn’t finish asking it) he got a loving response on why selling is important. Yes, Amit believed in his product and loving it unconditionally is what he preached. Demonstrations are also critical to a business and he emphasized that one minute demo videos may work miraculously as product reviews.

Tejal raised a point that in an era where reviews, appreciations and practically all ego-sensical things can be bought, how trustworthy are reviews from a new consumer’s perspective. I can’t remember the response because I think , I dozed off here. So will feed this on,later.

You have to have guts to buy and then show off pink shoes. This is not criticism and it is purely a point he drove which made me really think out of the box. What if Linda Goodman wrote on “Businomics of Star Signs“. Amit dwelt on this new way of looking at data. Analyse the star signs of your customers and use them in segmentation. To think of it, date of birth is one data point that is almost always compulsory. Instead of asking so many fields, if I could identify personality of my customer just by knowing his star sign, all our up sell, cross-sell and never -sell, all business challenges resolved in a jifi. Worth a try. I can go on like Amit went on but I will like to talk about more sessions. One great line that I remember he said which echoes logic and sums up his session, crisply ” Every customer is an Influencer.”

By the way, I found some similar shoes online – order if you have the heart for them.

image Moving on, the next session was the internet of something. Characteristic of passion and energy that was infectious. Harish Shankaran from MetalWorks pulled quite a few rabbits out of the hat. The one that stood out was the activity for UltraBook. Here the basic formula was to get somebody really excited and let him win a new,cool device. He also eventually became the next candidate for a Roast.

Well, what they did was married psychological emotions with aspirations – marketing sells material aspirations and they just built it in a very tech savvy manner. This activation campaign titled – ” Temptations” rightly connected the emotion to the will to earn and that hook is big enough to sell. Technology is the ultimate gimmick. We are using it to sell, prospect, underwrite, collect, upgrade, dispense, transfer and all things so why not market. Why cannot it be looked at for reinventing the process of marketing ? An SR system for all our briefs and whoever is least excited gets the output 2 days before TAT.

Bring it on Harish, 4th floor , Goregaon has many restless souls to check out the psychological impact of a possession. Seriously, I am joking.

The Dozers

This is an extraordinary league. The body takes eight hours to reach this state. Some particular experiences accelerate it. We can measure the efficacy by how much degree of sleepiness you achieved after going through this category of event.Two sessions qualified for this.

I liked the perky, pretty,plainspoken Priyanka. I liked her for two reasons – she decided to share her interactions on which senior marketers stood out as professionally sound leaders. The second reason being that she had actually connected with each and every interviewee.

The session was repetitive but she had crisp answers for every question. So we may all end up to be CEOs, CMOs, COOs one day and I think that day we need to remember what Priyanka said – ” know your facts yourself ( don’t rely on assisted help) ,  relate a challenge to a solution and take a ” we” position rather than an “I” stand. By the way these are good tips for a job interview as well.

Though this was a dozer, only according to me , I am still taking an out of the box way of preferring this session over others. The second exercise was a rare type but good it happened. An HR exercise that gave us a useful lesson in networking and knowing others better. The clincher was the doll making contest. We were simply executing. Does it depict the way we normally work or the way we are expected to ?

It was one girl people went crazy about. She looked like a discovery , a new product to be launched and yet remarkably “crappy” as put across by Jebin. True to the core, we have stopped asking questions – not from each other but from the consumer. We somehow only emphasize on one question ROI.

Return on Ignorance is what I term it considering we never ask the poor consumer what is a better way to be fleeced – increasing the price for more value or restricting a benefit for a lesser price.

Yawn, yawn,ZZZZ, ouch I slept on you , with you etc.etc. are reactions which you cannot control. Post this session, I was tired by the amount of learning I had. I learnt Lubaina had climbed a hill, Amol had fought a bear, Swati killed an ant, Harita bought a palace and Deepak lived in a tent. Did I cover everybody’s achievements ?

This account doesn’t get any more innovative than this. Name the doll and win a prize,  sponsored by Alliances Team. Some guys already swooning or sleeping so they are disqualified.

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The Party

This one had rave reviews and Nilkanth emerged as the Kotak Rajnikant. He can do everything – research, raag, rock and rise. It was an entertaining evening with Paushali’s soulful voice accompanied by Nilkanth’s guitar. You both have really inspired a lot of us to pursuit our passions to the fullest. “Do more with your life” as Karthi spelt it for us. M.O.R.E. – Motivating Offenders to Rethink Everything*.

This is a post with a lot of masala and the Bollywood Night tried to evoke all feelings and cravings in a filmy style. So some danced, some were sober, some were missing and some were cribbing. Overall, all but one dragged all to the dance floor or so I heard. It was a dance night and we did decently well on the jumping quotient.

Here is a group of some Bollywood Extras that managed a media byte.

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The Thinkers

Amish Tripathi, Author of The Shiva Trilogy and the chocolate boy as Prashant said in his introduction for him captured quite a few bytes of imagination. His insight into ” I know this English only and I will write what I know ” got me thinking that we always want to dress up our actions and hence ingenuity is lost. He visualised the stories (millions read and are reading) in a parallel universe with the ” humility of a witness”.Truth or no truth, it gives you courage and conviction to take it to the last mile.

He is a starter kit on ideas. First self published sample chapter, first self published sample book, first book trailer and my first crush on a book author.

Well, “unka aik autograph hi kaafi hai“.

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As a speaker, very articulate and honest. Doesn’t shy away from his transition from being an atheist to a devout Shiva follower.  A usual story of a banker turned author with an unusual success.

When I was a kid, I had seen a Disney cartoon ” Peace on Earth” which depicted that humans have fought over everything but were still hell bent on finding another reason to fight. So the remaining homo sapiens decided to fight over vegetarianism and non vegetarianism. Finally, when the war got over nobody was alive and animals took charge.

Anand Siva, an animal welfare activist,a copywriter and also a self motivated vegan, put across the same perspective in a different way. He chose to be a vegan because he was pained to realise that how far we can go to harvest animals for our food. This is no discovery and we all know the half truths. We are afraid to ask questions because we know asking them will make us feel guilty and it is difficult to change. The fundamentals were the same. We have,  as humans contaminated everything, as consequence is the last thing we deal with. If the end is deadly or hurtful, we have learnt to accept it as a consequence rather than as a warning to change or bring about change.

( I hate to add but we did salivate for the home made chaas. He was trying to convey to us that we can be better human beings, in the end we all displayed one trait – ” Greed for that which tastes good.”)

He was candid, emphatic and forthright . All he said , if we look at how we eat, what we eat and why we eat, it is enough reason to survive. Putting animals to risk, danger and extreme torture gets us no where. It harms us, our children. This was a thinker and he shared his thoughts. The best part – he gave us enough reasons to make a choice. No controls, no dictacts, no circulars and no policies. Pure logic.

Watch this cartoon. It effortlessly conveys what animals think of us. Hope they could blog.

Imagine being Blogged by an Angry Cow – ” The Man who stole my Milk”

Writing this , I hope I have managed to steer away from controversies. Actually, I would be lucky to get some free, considering that they are bought to publicize every damn thing.

The Marketing Mash Up 2015 was a refresher course on everything (including the housekeeping announcements) we know but rarely implement or ponder about. Whatever food for thought it gave me, I have blogged and I hope you can add to this misery by reading it. Even if I get one “hmmmm”, I will turn a vegan.

The “why” question

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Little La has grown up and so has her curiosity.

When every question is a “Why”, there is lots of room to try.

“Why” is it night?
“Why” do matches light?

“Why” do I like pink?
“Why” is the circle called a ring?

“Why” should I drink water?
“Why” do you call me your daughter?

“Why” does everybody say Hi?
“Why” can’t I fly?

“Why” is it go on green?
“Why” is the floor not clean?

“Why” does the puppy look sad?
“Why” is screaming bad?

“Why” is the earth blue?
“Why” is this book new?

“Why” do you wear spectacles?
“Why” is the forest magical?

“Why” should I wear slippers?
“Why” do I like my sipper?

“Why” doesn’t he wear nail paint?
“Why” is the lizard on the window pane?

“Why” do I have to sleep?
“Why” can’t I play hide and seek?

“Why” do you go to office?
“Why” should I keep a promise?

“Why” is the moon white?
“Why” can I see it in daylight ?

“Why” is coconut cream so tasty?
“Why” are there no pink daisies ?

It goes crazier than this. I will keep adding to this list.

Till then , keep listening and answering if you have your Little La pondering.

Kitne Aadmi Thay Kaliya..25 Sardaar!

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Fridays are “done days” for some of us privileged few. Who work all six days are simply unfortunate. There is nothing much can be done except to empathize with these species.

However, so remarkable is our capacity to crib that if we had to give one more detail on a bill or say an altogether another bill or take one more approval, then our “workload” suddenly increases.

Friday, the 27th March was suddenly to change the way we go about our lives or so to say it tried quite hard to force us to take our current situations in the right stride.

Some 25 odd looking persons were to embark on a journey which they had no clue about. A so called gentleman and to give you all a hint – his name starts with “P” quite boldly announced that he has been quite useful in this mission thrice. We did not know the sadist pleasure with which he remarked. As an afterthought, quite wicked after all !

So we had the namesake “GOD” for company. And it was indeed the divine presence that we quite landed where we were supposed to in True Destiny style. The acts of charity had started by one tiny step and I saw a pretty hassled lady ( who actually looked like she was from the NGO ) trying to make sure all “mazdoors” had boarded. While yet another made sure that we did not waste any morsel and handed over a box full of unutilized breakfast to the needy.

Yes, I can definitely make this account a little bit too funny when I mention that a certain “P” lady worked very hard to catch the bus itself. She travelled half the distance that we covered, in an auto looking for the bus. It was a remarkable feat and I must say she emerged as the “most powerful woman”. I shall discuss the specifics of this a little while later !

As the bus bumped along, so did we and reached the village in Karjat. We were greeted by the family of the villager whose houses we had come to build. I don’t think I have ever received such a warm welcome in a long,long time. A welcome that has long being forgotten and features only in movies and those endless Hindi soaps.

It was a feeling of coming home. I personally felt whether I could do what I thought I could. I looked at a couple others and I think none of us realised that the part we were about to play will be one of the toughest of our lives.

In a humble tent , we were led and seated and told to collect our gloves and our badges. Our instructor looked at us amused but hiding his grin behind his ears , he very enthusiastically told us two tasks that we had to choose from – building and painting. He asked people to volunteer as leaders and we immediately knew who wouldn’t be able to contribute. ( This is a pun and if it hurts the hardworking types, the humour is well taken!)

Up shot hands of a few ladies who wanted to take up painting , me being one of them and rest all landed up in the building team. So I don’t really believe in the latest Vogue choice ad but the choices women make may have nothing to do with their physical strength. It may just be their aptitude most of the time that they want to do a job which though looks simple, it still needs a skill. Doing the most tough job is never a criteria of physical capabilities.

If it was,we would have had many stories where the strongest villains would have stolen the plot. So cutting a long story short, some women were mocked at for opting for an easier task. Well , it was a comment well taken and all agreed that we shall in true labour spirit do shifts – Painting batch paints till noon and builds thereafter and vice a versa.

Heading to our walls ( literally they were to break this blazing afternoon !), guided by an efficient but rather amused local staff ,we started the job. Mixed in a huge container was a serene green paint that we were to collect in our mini buckets and embark on an adrenalin rush I never felt before.

Tan or no tan girls , this was the ultimate in any adventure I have ever had. Biting sun, flying insects, sweating tees, thirsty throats, giggling children, amused village women, a lone photographer, a few goats, some cows and us – the 25 explorers who knew this was not a joke and unless we got our feet , hands,Tommy’s,Levis’,
Wranglers’,Nikes’,Reeboks’ dirty or coloured, we hadn’t done our job.

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Painting Batch begins

For me it was love at first sight – okay so it got your imagination. The Wall – already white, calling out to me – “colour me baby”! Whether it was my speed or my incompetence , a rather experienced painter whose “V” for valour got the “girls” at the adjoining wall gushing , remarked at me ” I think you are striving for perfection”. I instantly knew this was a PR failure. Thankfully, Mr “V” very graciously offered to honour the wall with his painting skill acquired some time back. I knew the wall looked quite Victorian when finished.

While the juices were done and had, we saw bricks team often passing us and remarking – “is raat ki subah nahi”. The area was shielded and rightly so, dangers lurking in the unknown are better than known fears. When you least expect , courage surfaces and that’s exactly what happened when the shift changed.

Best part of the whole show , the most delicious lunch seemed to be the most worthy meal of our lives. It left me wanting for more . For a four course preparation like this, yes Sir I could work for a few more days like this. (Did I speak too soon!)

Not at all ! Nothing prepares one better for adversity than adversity itself. And once the food went in , we realised we were the fat pigs who had gorged too much for one day. When the masons arrived for us to partner, we were guided to the showstopper task – pick, pass and return.

Three simple words if acted upon, over and over at least 200 times with a kg full of wet concrete paste, by 50 legs and 50 arms, are bound to tire you to the core. There were some glucose moments, dizzy souls, panting spirits but the goal was fixed – party had to go on.

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Passing the parcel

More so , when the rain gods were pleased. There was dancing and no more looking at the watches as suddenly everything felt purposeful. Kabbadi with the local boys rejuvenated the whole group. With renewed vigour and “can do attitude”, the human chain accomplished a task which nobody believed was possible when this day began.

Brick by brick and brush by brush we tried to finish two homes. Two homes, which will hopefully house many aspirations and dreams of two humble families.

Seizing a big opportunity like this has been a greatest wisdom that all in this social group displayed. Gabbar can shout out loud and say ” kitne aadmi thay kaliyaa” and we may just have been 25.

Nevertheless , we emerged from this experience empathetic of millions who build for others. In 90% of the cases, they have no place to call their own home. It was a one day activity but to me it seemed like I tried to move one step towards giving back, to people who most deserve to stay,  under their own roofs.

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The "25" aadmi and aurat

I am a (wo)MAN

I am a (wo)MAN
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Are women professionals behaving more and more like men in corporate space? I feel we are living in an age where everything is influenced by everybody. Whether you call it the Karmic influence or the Kramer influence, it is becoming very evident that a woman professional has to behave like a man professional to succeed.

Let me substantiate it by some womanly examples. In a so called group of women, who were incidentally invited to contribute ideas for women’s day celebration, a certain woman was asked, “Why did you rejoin this organisation?” The woman candidly merited the understanding that HR had shown and said flexibility was the main reason. Another woman quipped and added I am sure with no innocence, “so do you mean that HR said you could come at any time!”

It is a level playing field and we are all in the same game of rushing ahead of each other but I am baffled when women treat other women as instant competition. I have come across young energetic women who have the empathy, intrigue and the passion to drive, execute and implement whatever comes their way with collaboration. But once they ride up the ladder, there is a giant ego that develops and they deride the same gender. The argument – we faced it and so should you.

When I point out like men, I don’t absolutely mean indifference, apathy or ignorance. Women play multiple roles and need organisational support to nourish their personal and professional goals. It has been established that women first of all bring diversity to the workforce but also create a differentiation.

However corporate worlds , let’s face it were always designed for men. We have over the years recognized that for genders to coexist in a workspace, we need to accommodate needs so that balance is not a myth. Young women need grooming from senior women and at any stage of their life , they can be inspired to accept it with pride and stride.

I have seen women transform from very amiable personalities to very harsh and terrifying superiors. Their submission- “you have to be strong to survive here”.I am aghast we always were born strong emotionally and mentally  and need not have a metal exterior to prove it.

A desire to succeed with patience, being cognizant of the growth paths of others and moreover having a tending approach is characterised as being prominent traits of women professionals. But few are able to retain these as there is always a comparison of “how many hours in office” (surprisingly few offices provide for such facilities), “how many holidays for a sick child”, “don’t speak up as you are aggressive” and ” have to pick up child from day care” vis a vis a male colleague.

I remember the time when my father was working and my mother as a housewife use to do all chores, drive and drop me to my dance school, pick my brother from his music class, pick up groceries, pay bills and still come back and get our home works done. She was at that time behaving like the man of the house but her exterior was still tending, warm and always cheerful.

It is not a fault of the times but a mistake of our generation of young professionals. We see and expect too much to happen in too little time. Everything comes to a full circle and so does success and fame. It is only a matter of time . Sacrificing what innately makes us a better professional is our ignorance of our strength.

What makes us (wo)MAN can be a weakness if we do not recognize this strength in other younger women. If we can become role models for younger women amongst us, we can proudly display our gender labels without being insecure.

When this strength multiplies, there will no longer be a necessity to wear a garb. It is an equal world, women just need to feel it more naturally and accept that they are successful for what they are – not for what they are not.

(Photo from Google – originally from I stock as mentioned online)

8 Friends and a few Babies

” Where to go?” Is a perpetual question and few people are able to rationally get convinced on a few people’s decision of what an ideal holiday destination should be. I have not taken permission to reveal the better or worse side of the babes and dudes that travelled just 2 hours away to a so called international holiday but as I think I should have no copyright issues or so I foresee.

“DesiDosts” as I would like to call this group , embarked on a journey not far away from our real heartlands. (Funny as none of us really have any of our baby footprints left in our real homes)

So, from our stickier work locations to a more stickier place -Srilanka ( no offence – this is all in good jest), we landed in different time zones and convened at this obnoxiously clean place called Galle Road, somewhere in the heart of Colombo. It seemed no different than an upmarket posh hotel in India but the 4 men saw the USP of the beauty of ethnicity.

There was a wedding in the vicinity and I think though we were served no refreshments , it was indeed refreshing to a few fair gentlemen , one of whom later claimed to this fame quite vocally. I will just name him ” #desibuddy”.

As we go along,the characters tend to unfold themselves and though it may not be intriguing as a thriller, we definitely solved the mystery of what the baby was about to eat, thankfully and phew! she was saved by ” #desibuddy”.

It was amazing how a family of four was up and awake and a certain family of 3 was always struggling to make it. I think it was not so much of the factor of the baby as so much of “what to wear”.

Now this remained a perpetual issue for most of the babes , considering that all of us were dressed up aunties. Some of my female #desidosts will absolutely resent this however I take this liberty(If you remember I have the copyright ) to say we tried hard.

Some desperately tried to fit in a dress vintage #desidosts Goa 2007 style , another spotted a hairstyle aptly christened as cocker spaniel style by her most handsome husband ( this is a strict pun) while a few , actually rest two ,reconciled that age has nothing to do with growing old, it is just a label ( so frankly they did not try). For the comfort of all feminists , I am going to call this team of four terrific ladies #desiaunties . This is a brand extension of the #desidosts.
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People always wait for two things in life – true love and when it will become passé. We always waited for two things – service and waiters . This was a mirage ! You could see a waiter / waitress float by but they would disappear after leaving your table. Thankfully, food was not a mere illusion and indeed it was delicious. It could be seen, relished and craved for.

However, there is a certain ministry where if you did not have a non-vegetarian diplomatic immunity , it could be a not so safe place to be. So a so called set of #desimaansbakshis travelled there – Ministry of Crab. For others, it was safe to assume a safe distance at a location where “pasta was once served in a tumbler”. Portions were less however our vegetarian virginity intact, we were pleased and tired(#thedesighaansphoos)

Some parts of this story are actually fiction but in true thriller style ( and I have done research) , I will like to say I walked into a garden of “briefs”. Located a few country lanes away from our beautiful abode at Bentota , is one of the most daring accounts of someone’s passion retold. Gardens are a pure place as we will like to assume but this one was a secret place of passion for a certain artist who was not shy of what he achieved and demanded. ( From here my post turns 18 and above only)
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Now when there are men and more men, everybody is going to eventually run the other down on who is the #notsoscaredspouse . There were some competitions and I think in all of this one couple came out unscathed ( even the hotel thought so). My gut- the results were rigged as I did see them fighting but nobody listens to a cocker spaniel, does anyone?) They were crowned ” Best Couple on dance floor”.

The results were conveniently declared after everybody had left the dance floor. I assume this was part of the plan. Now I will like to call these characters #desimurgis , very suave and quite energetic. A lot of incidents could be linked to their energy but that’s an entirely different story for a next time.
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It is 1.31 am and I am still writing. That was the energy courtesy #desidosts vigour that what could well have been spent in free entertainment but was spent discussing “beauty and the brains”. Now these latter two creatures were spotted in Goa and till now behave like #trulymadlydeeply so we investigated as it was an impossible reality for quite a few of us. Things are never at peace until they actually are. And finally it was unearthed, basis a clue by our accomplished dancer that a certain #fairgentlemanthinks I am doing a thing in a certain way but it is actually the wife playing the song.(Translation -” biwi ke isharoon par naach raha hai”) .

In this whole revelation, other men felt manly( …and #desiaunties achieved what they had come for – ” now this is not a pun so stop thinking, this is a family read.”)

Turtle watching was fun. It was a treat to see the babies enjoy the experience and I must say I became an expert in turtiology (sorry, my vocab is limited!)

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The will to shop has never being a problem for #desiaunties and how wrong were they proven. There is an unfounded theory that men crib when women shop lift, actually. But Colombo House of Fashion is a place where you can shoot down all doubts that haunt you on men not being shopaholic.

I had a nagging doubt about #mysticaldude and his handsomeness being overshadowed by his excessive flamboyance. But he also ensured not a penny was left wanting his attention and finally lock,stock and barrel , there were around 100 shirts and counting between the four not so dapper dudes. I believe they deserved this. Every man should have his day after all they have paid for the trip.

Also, I think time has come to tell the world that I danced without arms in arms with this #mysticaldude. ( I hope the dudess does not mind)It was quite a passionate one but I had not quite figured out that it wasn’t until now when it struck me. His attention was on the Russian. ( We never should have visited the Brief Gardens- wrong influence)

“Peene pilane ke peeche ” there is always a pilaane Wala. In this case , the accused was a so called #desiauntyseductress whose concern for one’s empty glass was empathetic. She was also the worm behind the book and in normal daylight appeared not the criminal kinds. But as they say crime lies in the shadows of darkness and behind “don’t waste the poor drink” plea.

As all stories should have a happy ending , this one even has a dark side to it. It starts with a walk on the beach when the day breaks and never does this one thought see the light of the day. These zen thoughts could only emerge from a mind miles away from manipulation and having a karmic influence.

So a so called #desiphdaunty would declare a walk in the wee hours and create the opportunity for rest of the #desiaunties however whether bill was passed is not clear. I never went, the other two did not go so who went ? Did she walk on the beach , did she see the sun rise , if not then who killed the crab?

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( I think this is definitely a plot for my next thriller as I need some more unearthly time with these #desidosts to figure that out.)

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These 5 years…

More toil..sweat..compromises..fights..discovery of ugly habits..dawning of moments..incredibly exciting gifts..sacrifices..give up and leave times..none of all these or some of these?? For me..phew they passed!! Years, when you blink, pass..my parents celebrated their 32nd year this spring, and their feeling is the same.

It is pretty much the same everywhere, I guess. There are these peaks of remembrance and memories and then the troughs of absolute silence. I think,looking at my years..each year can be dedicated to some startling Agatha Christie mystery. Recounting herewith one by one..

First year – The sheer excitement of being together brought with it a lot of mishaps like not being able to have a honeymoon due to new jobs,cooking non-stop and most dishes ending up in the bin( this was pre-historic fun as most times your spouse and you feel like living in a cave),not having any time post office hours and the special moments graph, slipping dangerously. I will term this period-“The Year of the Unknown”.

Second Year – You don’t repeat the mistakes of the first year,depends how much of a stickler you are, but you try to dash them out of the window,the moment, warning signs appear. This year is characterized by discovering each other. It is amazing this comes later as in the first year, if you know the person, you have assumed you already know so much about him or her that you surprise yourself at every turn. From very common annoying habits of incessant fascination to the idiot box till cleanliness of the tiniest corner, from regally hanging towels and clothes behind bathroom doors and over beds till talking endlessly to girlfriends, from roaming in malls in the quest of finding that unborn piece of garment till sleeping after every meal. I will term this year-“The Great Discovery”.

Third Year – Things are settling down. You start thinking of the future.People around you have started saying wow, you finished 2 years. Great!( Older ones are already wishing you luck!!) I believe this is the year of the great knowledge. You are talking more,discussing, trying to hear out the “other voice” and restraining the urge to say something important first. It is also a boring year as you are understanding and compromising more. One or two,maybe 3,I wouldn’t say all, habits are turning a part and parcel of your life. I will call this Year -” To do or not to do”.

Fourth Year – Hopefully this is the best year of your committed life. To each, his or her own!! Nothing affects you or your spouse! You go on each other’s way without much ordeal. This is also the time when surprises are expected as they become far and few..future planning is required as you have very less time for yourself,let alone for each other and you are discovering how you can better manage yourself independently. This does not mean your love  comes down or you are just tolerating better. It means that you are giving more space. I will term this year – “The Great Adjustment”.

Fifth Year – Like all mystery novels, this seems to be the climax. Maybe I have lived this life only till these years and hence I am concluding. But after four years, all years go by without having much in significance.However, this year has been personally fulfilling for me and hope that every other year brings so much happiness to my family and me. I had to struggle a lot in the fourth year and though I learnt a lot still I felt my individuality was completely sacrificed. This last year, I lived for myself more and hence,it was important in that respect.Personally for myself,I will call this year-” The Return of the Self”.

There are going to be many more years of this life and I hope that I have at least one memory to cherish for each of those years. I think that’s what makes companionship relevant. Some years you may feel accomplished and some years hopeless as things don’t go right. There may be,this uncertainty that kills! But,all along, I have learnt one big lesson – You live so that you can love someone unconditionally but to do that you need to first love yourself TRULY,MADLY,DEEPLY..let the others follow..!