The Product Predator and the Marketing Murderer


Situation One

Marketing Murderer:”What is the product all about?”

Product Predator:”It is like this only.”

Marketing Murderer:”Achaa, so it is like this and that.”

Product Predator:”Actually, it is this and that and a bit more than that.”

Marketing Murderer: ” Okay so top 3 benefits will be – This,That and Much More than That. Great, I think I am getting there.”

Product Predator:” It should be seen everywhere.”

Marketing Murderer: ” This or That or Much More than That ?”

Product Predator:” Good question, let’s make ‘This’ first and ‘That’ second in the main sentence. Both need importance. Much More than That can come as a ball.”

Marketing Murderer:” Achha, you mean blurb. Can do it. Where will you sell this.”

Product Predator:” Actually, we want to try and see if this works, so pretty much everywhere.”

Marketing Murderer: “Oh okay, when are you planning to launch it ?”

Product Predator: ” The product is ready, we have done the testing, I think it is working so this Monday should be good.”

Marketing Murderer:” But that is 2 days away , we won’t be able to pull it off.”

Product Predator:”Arre,nothing much has to be done, there is just one poster, one internal launch event, one standee, one leaflet and yes we need to ready one video for the launch.”

Marketing Murderer: ” That’s easy. I will order online. Maybe call for Express Delivery.”

Product Predator:”And yes, let it be cash on delivery. Don’t spend much. Try to see if express delivery can happen through surface. We should avoid air cargo.”

Marketing Murderer: ” Good idea. Also, how many clients you want to invite for this launch?”

Product Predator:”I think x should be enough. Also, we should try to generate as many leads as possible. We will call our sales people.”

Marketing Murderer: ” Wonderful, let’s do this. Don’t you think we should know a little bit about this new customer,like a dipstick maybe.”

Product Predator:” Agree, we should talk to a few customers we know or someone who looks like that on the floor. Let me ask a few people around here.”

Marketing Murderer:”Oh yes definitely,surely keep us posted. And by the way, do you need a name for the product.”

Product Predator:”Yes, I already thought of – Poor(a) Product.” ( Poora is complete in Hindi)

At this juncture, the Product Predators and Marketing Murderers shake hands amicably and sign off for a much deserved break – the weekend.


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